Wednesday Wisdom: Playing Nice Online | Seersucker Sass

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Wednesday Wisdom: Playing Nice Online

I've been avoiding writing this post because it hits a little too close to home, but I think it's important, and I hope that you will take the time to read it.



My friend Chelsea had a really cool opportunity.  She was involved with an Influenster campaign with CoverGirl, and as one of the "tasks," she tweeted a before and after photo using the CoverGirl mascara.  CoverGirl asked to promote her tweet!  (Isn't that a blogger's dream?  I'm still a little envious.)  I can only imaging how excited she must have felt, and how shocked she was when her notifications were flooded with negative comments, expletives, and just flat out mean tweets.



My heart really hurt for Chelsea.  She has been one of my best friends since the end of freshman year in college.  She has had my back through everything.  If there is a major secret laying on my heart, I know that I can tell Chelsea, because she will guard it with her life.  She has a heart for individuals with disabilities, specifically autism and hearing and vision impairments.  She interned last summer teaching individuals with vision impairments how to use technology that would allow them to see.  Her face was the first face that her clients saw after being unable to see for so long.  And I bet they could care less about what her lashes looked like.



As someone who was cyberbullied in high school and college, my blood started to boil.  I wanted to lash out at these people for being so mean to my friend.  How dare them, right?!  So I started of thinking of mean things that I could tweet back to them.  But right before I hit send, I realized that when I lashed out at some random stranger for hurting my friend, I was stooping down to their level.  And I'm better than that, and I know you're better than that, too.

So here's the moral of my story - Be nice.  Don't feel safe being mean because you're sitting behind a keyboard.  You never know someone's story.  Think before sending that nasty tweet or leaving that condescending blog comment.

And if you're up for a challenge, I challenge you to join me in trying to make social media and the blogging community a more positive place!  (This is why I started my #WCW series on my Facebook page!)  Bloggers have more influence than they know... Why not use yours to be positive?


Happy Wednesday!

XX,

SS

A big thank you to my friend Chelsea for allowing me to share her story!  The last two photos in this post belong to her, please do not use without her permission.


63 comments:

  1. It is always nice to be nice. Some days are easier than others, but it is important for creating the positive life you want. Nice reminder; thanks!

    Julie
    makingmindfulness.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. I agree - some days are much easier than others! I always try to push myself to be extra nice on the "other" days. Haha. Happy Friday, sweet girl! Xo

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  2. Such an important idea to remember! I try to remind myself if I wouldn't say it in person then I shouldn't say it on line!

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    1. That is a GREAT way to look at it! Happy Friday, sweet girl! Xo

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  3. Love this reminder! We should always be kind to one another, especially online and in the blogging community, even when others may not be nice to us. Thanks for this, love!

    XO
    Ashley
    privateschoolprepster.blogspot.com

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  4. I love this message! Cyber bulling makes me so mad too!
    Melanie @ meandmr.com

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    Replies
    1. So glad I'm not the only one! Have a great weekend :) Xo

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  5. This is a much needed post! I feel like it should've even be a problem, but unfortunately it is and needs to be discussed. I thank my lucky starts social media wasn't prevelant when I was younger, particularly those tough middle school days. People can be so mean when they don't have to stick around and deal with the reaction!

    Thanks for sharing!
    xo. A Peachy Sonder

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    1. Right?! I wish posts like this weren't a necessity. And I agree - I am so glad it wasn't around in middle school. I was bullied so badly to my face that I can't imagine what would have been said about me online.

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  6. It's horrible how so many people us the internet as an easy way to bully others. I don't even understand how anyone could have the time or energy to send hatred to someone they don't even know-it is ridiculous and cruel! Your friend Chelsea sounds like an incredible individual with a really big heart (and fabulous eyelashes in my opinion). I agree bloggers should use their voice (no matter how big or small) for positive change! (:

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    1. YES! It takes so much energy to be a mean, nasty person. I can't imagine it being worth it.

      You are such a sweet heart! Hope you have a great weekend :)

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  7. People are so mean especially when they can hide behind a computer screen.
    Cyberbullying is the worst and I will definitely be taking a stand with you against online hate.

    xoxo, Jenny || Breakfast at Lillys

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    1. Isn't it awful?! So glad that you are also taking a stand :)

      XX, SS || A Little Seersucker Sass

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  8. How sad, women should be supporting each other and raising each other up instead of bringing them down. Thats why I'm grateful for the blogging community we have because its a great support system.
    -Alex
    www.monstermisa.blogspot.com

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    1. YES! I am so sick of women bashing women. We are very fortunate!

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  9. She's beautiful and that's an amazing opportunity she had, so they were clearly jealous! It amazes me how mean people can be. I've never been bullied or have been a bully, online or in person, but it still aggravates me when I see people purposely trying to bring someone down! When I first started blogging I was scared of the feedback, but so far everyone has been insanely nice thus far. I love this post and agree that it is must needed!

    P.S. I liked your Facebook page!

    xo, Lauren-lee
    Lauren-lee Grace Beauty & Fashion

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    Replies
    1. Isn't she?! Wow, you are lucky! And I agree - last night was the first time I invited a few people I know to check out my blog, because I was so afraid of the flack I would get. Have a wonderful weekend! Xo

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  10. I love that you wrote this! My heart hurt for Chelsea reading all these comments when it was originally promoted - I don't understand how people can be so mean online, especially after she was given a great opportunity like this!!

    Pick Your Beau

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    1. I agree! Like it's a cool thing, be happy for her or move on! Haha. Have a wonderful weekend!

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  11. I love this post!! Such a great thing to always remember in this social media frenzy world of ours :)

    Annie || Annie N Belle

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  12. such a great post, totally agree with you on all of it xx, kenz
    http://sincerelykenz.com

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    1. Kenzie, you're so sweet! Thank you :)

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  13. Good reminder! So sorry that happened!

    Kelly
    Ohio Stripes

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    Replies
    1. I guess there is a lesson to be learned from all situations like this!

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  14. Cyber bullying should not be happening but considering how caught up people become with social media, it is really sad to hear about these things occurring. Thanks for sharing!
    xoxo, Ivette
    Glamour State Of Mind

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  15. Internet trolling is horrible!!! So sorry to hear that happened to your friend!

    -Morgan
    How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com

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  16. This is such an important post. What you post online really does live forever and it's important to be careful about what you post. It's so sad what people write because they think that they are anonymous behind a computer screen. What you type still hurts people's feelings.

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    1. I agree! I sometimes wonder if people don't realize they're being rude to a real person with feelings or if they just don't care.

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  17. So many people don't understand that anything online is there forever, even if you delete it. Such a great post and I'm sure this will help a lot of people! I was cyberbullied...and still am now by other bloggers. But she'll come out stronger! <3 praying for her!
    Lauren / www.thefashionistasdiary.com

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    1. I don't understand how anyone could be mean to you, because you are so sweet to me and so many others! Thanks for your kind words. I will definitely be praying for those who are persecuting you, love!

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  18. OK, that STINKS that people can be so outwardly mean. Especially cowarding behind a screen! Chelsea sound like such a beautiful person...and you sound like the perfect support system for her right about now. I guess it's just one of those things to always remember...the people trolling social media of big brands often don't have much better to do. Her lashes look on FLEEK. Why must everyone try to rain on others' parades?? Let her lashes be on fleek and be happy for the girl, for Pete's sake! Keep rocking CoverGirl, Chelsea, and keep being your beautiful self! (Thanks for sharing her story, Dana!)

    cominguprosestheblog.com

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    1. You are so kind! And I agree - I wish more people knew how to be happy for people! Thanks so much for stopping by :)

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  19. you always post about the best & most applicable topics! thank you for doing this.

    xo, Maddy
    http://cassidylou.com

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    1. Aww, thank you, Madeline! Thanks for stopping by :)

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  20. This post is excellent! What a good way to live. After dealing with some really negative people online, I initially found myself wanting to stoop to their level. This is a great reminder that fighting fire with fire never works. Thanks for sharing!
    xx
    Madison
    http://chicandchai.com/

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    1. I am so sorry that you're having to deal with negative people. Why can't people just be happy for one another? You are a wise lady :)

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  21. Thank you so much for sharing this! I'm always shocked by how mean people can be online and never understand why they feel like they need to say those kinds of things. I totally agree that you should always be nice, it's much better than putting negativity out in the world.

    This braid is so pretty! I always struggle with hair styling too and usually have to get a friend to do it for me, but this seems so simple. I can't wait to try it out!

    Jenni // The Beautiful Little Fools

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    1. Nice should always win :) Thanks for stopping by, sweet girl! Xo

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  22. I definitely agree that we have a responsibility to make sure that we're using our voices for positive and not for harm. It sucks that so many people hide behind keyboards being mean to others whatever the reason maybe.

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  23. I think that this a really important topic! We need to treat others as we would want to be treated on and off of the internet. Just because you can't physically see the person doesn't mean that what you are saying isn't hurtful and damaging to them.

    XOXO
    Marie H.
    Progression By Designl

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  24. I'm constantly shocked by the ruthless comments people leave online. I could never imagine saying something so rude to someone- even under an anonymous alias. It's honestly disgusting. I'm so happy there are kind and positive bloggers like you who make the internet a better place!

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  25. You are an awesome friend
    http://lensattire.blogspot.com/

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  26. great post

    http://carrieslifestyle.wordpress.com
    Posts online about Hawaii, Dubai, Vienna...

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  27. I love the opening quote. My rule was never put anything on the internet that I wouldn't want my mum or grandparents to see. Not that I'd say anything nasty, I just don't think there's enough room on the internet for so much negativity. It's nice to be nice, right? :) Thank you to you and Chelsea for sharing this story!

    Jessica Grace

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  28. Aw!!! Cyber bullying is seriously out of control! It's really so sad that people think they have the right to judge others just because we are on the Internet! They think that we aren't human or something! I really love your message!!

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeat Soles
    

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  29. I just don't understand how someone could be so hurtful! Especially since her lashes look great. But those people don't know the real her, so even though their words hurt, I hope she knows that she has so much more going for her than their insults and she's worth so much more than that!

    xoxo, SS

    The Southern Stylista

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  30. Sometimes you really have to wonder who feels FULFILLED in life when bullying people anonymously on the internet? I've been called boney, over-edited, sickly thin... you name it. So regardless, know you're never alone! I just delete the comments as quickly as I can, so I don't let the negativity linger. So sorry to hear about your friend! :(

    xo,
    Stephanie
    Diary of a Debutante
    www.thediaryofadebutante.com

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  31. I hate bullies. I hate bullying, I say as someone who has been bullied. Cyberbullying is the worst, it just hurts. Chelsea is so strong to put herself out, she's amazing! Haters gonna hate, what we can do is grow stronger from it and be the bigger person.

    xx Bash | Bash Says Hey | bloglovin'

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  32. Great post, Love. Thanks for sharing! I absolutely agree. The online world makes it way too easy for people to be mean and nasty and say things without thinking twice. People definitely need to learn self-control, restraint, and (most importantly) respect for others and different opinions.

    High Heels & Happy Feels
    Instagram

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  33. People say so many mean things online they would never dare to say to your face.

    LindaLibraLoca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

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  34. great post dear :) It's really very easy to bully someone on social media, but because of that it's important that some people remain nice :)

    http://lovelyattitude.com

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  35. Wow, people are terrible! What bad thing is there to say about those photos?! I was also bullied online when I was in middle school. I'll never understand why people choose to be mean to others over being positive or just saying nothing.

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  36. I was bullied since the age of 7 till 17 so for me bullying is very important subject. We should all love and RESPECT each other. #spreadthelove


    www.searchingforlbd.com

    www.searchingforlbd.com

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  37. Could not agree more, and so important to remember in the age of Internet anonymity.

    ​xo katie // a touch of teal

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  38. You are one of the sweetest, most caring people I know. I don't doubt that Chelsea is too. I remember this happening and trying to counteract the negativity with a positive comment. I would love to participate in your WCW series! Tell me more!

    xx. Brittany
    Southern Soul

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  39. People can be so cruel. Especially when they are behind a computer screen. My friend had a similar negative experience with blogging. Now she wants to delete her blog completely. It's sad the effect people's words can have on others.

    Great post!

    http://www.thisblondestory.com/

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  40. Poor Chelsea! I hope she will stay strong and remember some people are just mean for the sake of it. I was bullied at school, too, and it's something you don't ever forget. Cyber bulling is one of the lowest forms of it, too, and I will never understand the point of it. And you're totally right, it's nice to be nice and we truly don't know what other people might be going through. Great post and definitely a subject that needed addressing! x

    ♥.•*¨ Amanda Says ¨*•.♥

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  41. This is a really good post. The online world can be so nasty and bullies think they can just hurt other people's feelings however they want. It's pretty ridiculous. It's true, if you're going to play, play nicely!! We must not give in to these people!

    ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND

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  42. I think it's so unfortunate that some immature people decide to attack some innocent individual! This is a great post and raises awareness on a very important issue :)

    Sarah
    https://everydayconcepts.wordpress.com

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