Wednesday Wisdom: Maintaining Friendships After Graduation | Seersucker Sass

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Wednesday Wisdom: Maintaining Friendships After Graduation



There was a moment that happened at the end of my first semester as a senior in college that I will never forget.  Two of my roommates/sorority sisters and I were sitting at Barnes and Noble studying for our finals.  At a nearby table, a group of women in their 30's were catching up over coffee.  "That will be us one day."
That really struck me.  One day, I would wake up, and I wouldn't walk down the hall, passing the rooms of 30 of my sisters.  I wouldn't be able to randomly go craft outside with them on pretty days.  I wouldn't be able to go grab Mexican & Margs after class with my best friend on a random Thursday night anymore.  The majority of us would be leaving our college town, some of us moving further away than others.  (One of the above mentioned roommates moved to New York City and is working at her dream job!  The other is living in Nashville, four hours away, and planning a wedding!)
Living further away from my friends than I was used to while transitioning to the "real world" was a lot to take in at first.  If you're still adjusting or about to be adjusting (Ahh, congrats on graduation!!!), I hope that you will find my tips to be helpful.
1. Realize that things will be different.  The sooner that you accept this, the better.  (And I say that because it took me a long time to accept it.)  Accept that your friends in college won't understand your schedule or your responsibilities.  After going to work very exhausted one morning because I met my friends for dinner at 7 and then drove an hour home, I set some ground rules for myself.

2. Remember important days.  I try really hard to be a thoughtful person, but sometimes I forget things.  That's where a planner comes in handy!  Write down your best friends' birthdays and make a little note to remind yourself to wish them good luck before an interview or ask how a date went.  It may seem like the most insincere thing in the world, but when you have a chaotic day at work where you're so overwhelmed that you can't remember how to spell your name, you'll be glad that you did!

3. Know that out of sight doesn't mean out of mind.  I don't talk to all of my best friends every day, and I don't see my friends that live locally as much as I would like to.  But I think it's important to realize that just because you don't see someone much or speak to them every day doesn't mean that the friendship should be abandoned!

4. Talk when you can.  This one plays off of #3 - Out of all of the people I consider to be close friends, there's really only one friend that I talk to consistently throughout the day, every day.  Communicating 24/7 isn't necessary to keep a friendship alive!

5. Plan time together.  When my friend A comes into town to see her boyfriend, she always lets me know a few weekends ahead of time so that we can both block off a little bit of time for each other! Planning something in advance gives you something to look forward to and is helpful when coordinating multiple crazy schedules.

6. Snail mail + bestie boxes are you friend.  While I'm so thankful for technology, I love snail mail!  If you have a friend on your mind, why not drop a card in the mail for her?  It will be such a pleasant surprise in a mailbox full of bills and junk mail!   I was introduced to the Bestie Box concept on Instagram.  Friends choose a schedule (monthly, quarterly, etc.) and mail each other gift boxes, similar to a subscription service!  My "Bestie Box" suggestions would be dollar aisle goodies, nail polish, favorite snacks, something you'll need next time y'all see each other, or things you got in a subscription service that you'll never use.  (The last one sounds kind of cheap, but one of my co-workers is always sharing her ipsy & Birchboxes with us, because she doesn't like to see things go to waste!  Everyone wins!!)


Now I want to hear from y'all - How do you maintain friendships after graduation?  Do you and any of your friends have traditions?

XX,

SS

P.S. - I apologize that I haven't been engaging as much as I usually do... studying for the LSAT has me spread super thin/exhausted/crying every night/is ruining my life.  Thanks for all of the encouragement and for bearing with me! Xo <3 p="">

44 comments:

  1. It is difficult to maintain friendships after graduation.
    I've somehow managed to keep up with my little and my best friend by conversing with them every other day, sometimes we talk even more though.
    I miss a lot of the friends that I haven't been able to keep in great contact with but that's just life.

    Thanks for the great tips.

    xoxo, Jenny || Breakfast at Lillys

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    1. Aww, that's great! I agree, I think it's just part of life sadly. Xo

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  2. What great advice! Communication is key - I now live in the same city as my 2 best sorority sisters and am so thankful we kept up with each other through the years!

    -Morgan
    How 2 Wear It ...

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    1. Ahh, that is awesome! I used to have really good friends where I live, but it seems like most of them have moved away for new job opportunities. Why is it so much harder to make friends as an adult? Lol Xo

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  3. I love the idea of a bestie box, so cute! It really is hard to adjust to living "separate lives" from your friends after college. I like to remind myself that just because we are growing separately doesn't mean we have to grow apart.

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    1. I love how you put that! I agree completely! Hope you're having a great day, love! Xo

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  4. Great tips! I think that it's most important to remember that friendships change. That was the hardest thing for me- especially because I was the one moving away while most of my friends stayed in Atlanta. They were still hanging out and it was really hard at first to see photos of everyone without me in it. The beauty of truly great friendships is that you can pick up where you left off- and just keeping up when you can doesn't mean you're forgotten.

    Thanks for sharing!
    xox. A Peachy Sonder

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    1. YES! You hit the nail on the head. Happy Thursday, lovebug! Xo

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  5. These are such great tips. It's so hard to keep friendships the same when you live so far apart. Some days, I just miss my roommates and college friends so much! Planning time together is definitely my favorite tip here. It really give y'all something to look forward to together. My college roommates and I are planning a trip to the Taylor Swift concert in Chicago, and I absolutely can't wait (too bad it's not till July!).

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    1. Ahh, what a great reunion! Hope y'all have a blast :) Xo

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  6. I am graduating this Saturday, so this post is extremely relevant to me. Thanks for sharing these tips!

    Allyssa | Life with Lyss

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  7. These are amazing tips and I should really put more efforts in keeping in touch with both my best friends. I always want to send a note but with everything going on the thought always slip away. I'm really terrible. :-/

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

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    1. You are not terrible! There's no time like the present! Xo

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  8. You're so right about how difficult it is to maintain friendships, I haven't graduated college yet-but my tight knit high school group of friends has changed since we graduated four years ago. It's funny to see how people mature and all that. But it's something I'm learning to embrace :)

    xoxo, SS

    The Southern Stylista

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    1. I have two friends left from high school! Haha. It really is amazing how people change... or don't change! Xo

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  9. I graduated 2 years ago and I have to say, all of these are spot on! Great advice for recent grads

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  10. I love #6! I love writing letters and sending cute gifts to friends.

    http://thealwaysblog.com

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    1. It's the perfect excuse to pick up cute stationary, right?! Xo

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  11. Awesome advice! It definitely needs to be a two way thing, though, I've stayed in touch with some people after school/ college or when I left a place of work, but a lot of people don't bother so you tend to drift apart :( but snail mail is a cute idea, and planning time together! Great post :) x

    ♥.•*¨ AmandaSays ¨*•.♥

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    1. Thanks, Amanda! I agree - it's definitely a two way street! Xo :)

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  12. This is great advice! I'm graduating high school at the end of the month and I think these tips can be applied to me even now.

    XO
    Ashley
    privateschoolprepster.blogspot.com

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  13. This is such a sweet post!!! It's true-- bestie boxing really IS the best! I still send my long distance friends surprise gifts!

    xo,
    Stephanie
    Diary of a Debutante
    www.thediaryofadebutante.com

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    1. You are a great friend! I bet that they love it! Hope you're having a great week, love! Xo

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  14. I am the absolute person when it comes to keeping in contact with people, especially at school. I get so zoned into my college-life that I forget to check in with friends from home! I've gotten better about it but thankfully all my friends understand that I'm a lost cause sometimes so when I do come home it's like I never left! Great tips!

    Xo, Rach | Seashells + Sparkles

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    1. Girl, I can be so guilty, as well! It's hard to keep up sometimes! Xo

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  15. Very cute post, I wish I was better at keeping in touch with my friends.

    xx Falasha

    Bite My Fashion ll Instagram ll Bloglovin'

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    1. There's no time like the present to improve! Have a great day! Xo

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  16. As someone who is about to graduate college this post came at the perfect time. Thanks for the advice :)


    Mili

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    1. Aww, I'm so glad that you found it to be beneficial! Xo

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  17. Such a true post. Thanks for sharing!

    XO Kay | Fashionably Kay

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  18. I love this and your blog is amazing!
    Syasya
    The Violet Effect

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  19. This is awesome advice. I have a lot of long distance friends, and the key is effort!
    xoxo

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  20. These are really great tips! It is hard to keep in touch when you are so far away, but I think what you listed would help a lot!
    Melanie @ meandmr.com

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    1. Aww, thanks love! Hope you're having a great week! Xo

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  21. Snail mail is the best way to let someone know they're high on your priority list! I love sending care packages to my friends because it's always a sweet surprise for them in the middle of the week (that I know has been busy because well, we're all busy in the real world!). Important dates are so crucial, too! Love these tips!

    xo
    Alex | Mrs. Mason Dixon

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    1. You are such a sweet friend, Alex! Thank you! Xo

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  22. Great advice and I agree, it's hard with keeping up friendships (thank the lord I only had two close friends and their contact information - it's still hard though) especially if they are in other cities :(

    P.s have you seen my Inks box? See details here: https://everydayconcepts.wordpress.com/shop/

    Sarah
    https://everydayconcepts.wordpress.com/

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