Wednesday Wisdom | Being the "Bad Cop" | Seersucker Sass

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Wednesday Wisdom | Being the "Bad Cop"

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In college, I was a certified Mama Bear.  If you were mean to one of my sorority sisters, I would hunt you down and politely let you know that acting like that towards them would not be tolerated.  After graduation, I entered the workforce, and I was pretty much the Baby Bear in a world full of wonderful Mama Bears.  People looked out for me the same way that I looked out for my younger sisters.  Then came the day that my boss told me she needed me to be "bad cop."

My boss is the real deal - she's beautiful, super intelligent, and fierce.  In situations of good cop/bad cop, I'm always good cop.  I'm reserved and definitely more of a "kill them with kindness" type.  But in this situation, she asked me to be the bad cop.  We had been making no progress on a project that we had started on in December, and it was time to let the others involved know that we meant business.

I got so nervous and stressed out as I typed out the firm, yet polite, email.  The email that I received in response was much less pleasant than other emails that had been exchanged, and I felt like it was an attempt to make me feel like a bad person for even saying anything.  There was even criticism on something they had praised me for during the first email.  However, I was proud of myself for making it known that I did not appreciate being jerked along, and I know that asking someone to hold up their end of the deal doesn't make me a bad person.

As a woman in the workforce, my biggest struggle is finding the balance between good cop and bad cop.  For me, I've found that starting off as the good guy works best for me.  I try to be polite and helpful to anyone I encounter, especially in the professional world.  But when people become hateful towards me, continue asking me to do something that I've already said that I can't or won't do, or try to take advantage of my niceness, I have to remember that it's okay to let my inner "bad cop" come out.

Do you usually feel like the good cop or the bad cop in a situation?  How have you managed to find a balance between the two?  I would really love to hear your answers on these things!

XX,

SS





18 comments:

  1. I totally feel ya on this one! I have almost 10 employees now and many of them are older than me or my age. I'm trying to learn the art of that balance of when to be good to bad cop. I prefer to be good cop (like most), but I'm learning more and more there are times I need to toughen up and not get jerked along like you said. It does stress me out as well, but it works! And each time I get less stressed and more confident in trusting myself and knowing it's the right way to handle it. xox

    Camille
    The Lovely Theory

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    1. 10 employees?! Look at you girl! I can't imagine. And you're so right - it does become a little less stressful each time :) Xo

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  2. I always try to be polite and treat people with respect. Of course it can get to the point when good cop doesn't work and then you have to bring out the bad cop!

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    1. I am right there with you, girl! I'm much better at being the good cop! Xo

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  3. I definitely think there can be a balance of good/bad cop. You never want to appear as a pushover, nor do you want to appear mean or unreasonable so finding a way to be stern but effective is key. Great post!
    -Alex
    www.monstermisa.blogspot.com

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  4. My personal style is always to treat people with respect and kindness, especially in the workplace. I like to think of myself as "good cop" but I don't allow people to push me around. I would agree that it's important to find the appropriate balance and treat each situation individually (and with caution!) until you have assessed how you should move forward!

    Another great post, thanks for sharing! xox.
    A Peachy Sonder

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    1. I really think that we're the same person. Thanks for always being so sweet to me :) Xo

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  5. Finding that balance is hard for me as well, especially considering that my natural inclination is to be a "good cop", which a lot of people try to take as "super sweet and a bit of a pushover"-type. I have definitely had my "bad cop" moments but I always try to keep those to a minimum.
    xx, Mikkaela
    The Southwestern Prepster

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    1. I feel you! Sounds like we are in the same boat :) Xo

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  6. Hello,
    You have a nice blog :)
    Do you want to follow each other? :)
    Kisses ! <3
    My blog: www.mehtapslifestyle.com

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  7. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself! I tend to be more like you in the "kill them with kindness" aspect, but I'm slowly but surely learning to stand up for myself-it's so important for women that are working with the public!

    xoxo, SS

    The Southern Stylista

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    1. You are so right! Very important... but still very hard! Xo

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  8. As much as I try to be polite, I understand that you have to be Bad Cop especially when no one else wants to be. Being Bad Cop sucks, but hey! It gets stuff done! Following you on bloglovin' btw <3

    xx Bash | Bash Says Hey | bloglovin'

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    1. Good for you, girlfriend! I wish it was a little easier for me :) Xo

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  9. I feel you on this one, SS. But sometimes you just have to be the bad cop.
    hugs
    Lenya
    FashionDreams&Lifestyle

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