Singleness | Seersucker Sass

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Singleness

I met my boyfriend through work.  What started out as a professional relationship of strictly emails turned into texts, then phone calls, then Skype calls.  I was hesitant to even meet him for a date, because I was so content with doing my own thing.  But a co-worker convinced me that I'm at the time in my life where I should be dating.  She explained to me that dating is important because I needed to meet different types of men.  I needed to see what traits I liked, and what traits I didn't like.  I needed to learn to feel comfortable with dating.  So I did it.  I went on the date, and now we're approaching nine months together.

Before I started dating my boyfriend, I had been in some relationships that ended pretty badly.  There was no consistency with "types" of guys that I had dated.  But I started to realize there was one consistent trait - I had dated them because I was vulnerable.  I started seeing a guy because he was there for me when my grandpa died.  And then there was the guy that I dated when I was planning a huge event for my university and about to graduate.  And then there was the guy that I dated when I made the decision not to go to law school and started my first job.  All of these situations ended much messier than they should have.  So when I made the realization that I was dating out of vulnerability, I stopped dating.

What I started doing was exploring.  I got all dressed up and went to social events.  I started doing yoga.  I immersed myself in volunteer work.  I bought books.  I started living my life and taking advantage of every opportunity around me.  I stopped being polite to skeevy boys.  I stopped playing by the rules so strictly, and I let loose a little bit.  And then, just like that, I met someone.
  
I've always found a person to be so attractive (not necessarily in a romantic way) while they're enthralled with what their doing.  It amazes me to watch my boyfriend work; he is so passionate about what he does, and it shows.  And it's sweet when he notices things that make my eyes light up or surprises me with something because he saw me get all excited over it at Target.

Vulnerability can be a beautiful thing, but it can also get you into trouble. I always tell my sisters to be cautious about what you post on social media about a break up or how badly you hate being single.  You may attract male attention, but probably not from guys that actually deserve you.  And the same goes with bitterness.  If you're looking for someone new, posting snarky things about your ex "to show how over it you are" probably isn't going to attract a potential suitor that isn't a mega douche.  And ladies, please just avoid the half-naked selfies.  Is that really what you want to use to attract a man?  

Here are my parting words on singleness - Enjoy it.  Enjoy finding yourself and becoming the best you that you can be.  And when the time is right, you will attract someone who is actually worth your attention.

What are your views on singleness?  I'm interested to hear!

XX,

SS




8 comments:

  1. This post is inspiring. And you're so right about attracting the WRONG kind of attention. It may seem nice to feel wanted at first, but that's ALWAYS dangerous.

    I'm about to start my sophomore year of college and while I've had a fling or two at school, this is the longest I've gone without having a boyfriend since I started dating at the end of my freshman year of high school. I miss the security of having a boyfriend, of course, but I'm really enjoying being able to focus on the kind of person I am and hope to be. As you seem to have experienced, you're really not ripe for the right person to come along until you work on you.

    http://triplex3threat.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words :) And enjoy college without having to worry about a boy… That's one thing I would change if I could go back and do it over!

      Delete
  2. Love this! It's so true. I spent the end of my time at college focusing on myself and just having fun, and that's when I met my boyfriend I'm still with today. All girls should read this post!

    Kristin
    thedixiedaisy.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you :) Hope you have a great weekend!

      Delete
  3. Such a great post, I got out of a very long term relationship last year and I've really been enjoying my "singleness" because I'm able to grow as an individual and be a little selfish which is nice.
    -Alex
    www.monstermisa.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you :) I agree, it's nice to be able to be a little selfish!

      Have a great weekend!

      Delete
  4. As a teenager, this post is SO encouraging to me. I mean, there is so much pressure from the world today to have a boyfriend at a young age, and I know I don't NEED one, but it's hard to stay strong sometimes, and when I read posts like this, it encourages me to be me and wait for the right one to come along because it's so much more beautiful than searching for someone. You are an inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Kaydee! Definitely wait for the right person… you deserve it :) Have a great weekend!

      Delete